Scooter 6.7 - Greener On the Other Side

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You know that feeling when you reach a point of a video game with a plot and it feels like it should be done but it keeps going (like every Assassin's Creed from 2018 onwards)? That's how I feel about this generation. Reader, I am so... (discomforted noise). But let's keep on keeping on, shall we? We've got some babies to hatch.

 

Welcome b--AAAACCCKK WHAT THE HELL

Dami, off screen: (LOUD SCREAMING)

Hari: Hold on! Hold on! I got this! ...I think! Am I doing this right?

Dami: DON'T ASK JUST DO

Uhh...good morning, Damián?

Dami: That is the last time I try to make pancakes for breakfast.

I mean, have you tried Uber Eats?

Dami: NO I am ANNOYING and STUBBORN.

You mean we have to clean these hoes? We have to climb up to the roof and give these little shits a scrub a dub dub?

Hari: I foresee lots of tedium in my impending future. Ah well.

Hari: Whoa, do you hear that, babe? Is that Laila?

Dami: Huh? I hope she's ok--HEY!

Hari: Aaaaaahheheheheheh. Nice try me?

Dami: I can't believe you'd use our daughter against me like this. To win a chess game.

Let's play a game of Who Is Stinkier: Damián, who neglected to shower today, or their infant daughter, who poops her literal pants?

Quick, answer fast before the stench envelops the whole w--aack--AAACK--BLEEHH

Hey, there's my second attempt at trying to get Dami into candle-making! We are now up one...to two whole candles. Amazing. Enterprising. Prolific. Incredible. World-changing.

Dami: (phew) Time to take a break after spending all day being a girlboss.

Before I knew it, it was already Laila's birthday! They made her a cake to celebrate, thankfully not burning down the kitchen again in the process.

Hari: Please be well adjusted please be well adjusted...

Reader, she was not well-adjusted. The first trait Miss Laila Scooter rolled at 7 years old...is Evil.

Laila: I think I shall cause trouble for no reason.

Anyway, the upper floor finally became occupied when I gave Laila the Nice Bedroom with the balcony. This is how she sleeps thinking she has the entire second floor to herself because her parents simply would not have other children to come and take her spotlight away.

Right?

This house is costing Dami and Hari way more than their past two, so it's time to actually hunker down and collect some water or whatever. Y'know--actually use some of this pack's functions.

The way Port Promise is currently, climate-wise, I really don't want them washing in that acidic sky juice but...I guess...I can sell it off...? Bye???

This is how you know you've waited too long to take your garbage out.

--Flies angrily buzzing--

Dami: Oh god oh god oh GOD THIS IS THE WORST

Oh hey look, Port Promise is in the green. So...I guess...that means Dami and Hari's combined goal is achieved.

✔ Turn all districts of Evergreen Harbour simultaneously green

Uh...we did it Joe?

I thought it'd be nice for Dami to take Laila to the park, nearby where they used to live. Now, it's lush, green, and pretty.

Laila: Thanks for taking me out, poppy! It's really nice here!

Dami: It's no problem, my love.

Laila: But you know what'd be even nicer...? If we went to the docks and got ice cream!

Dami: (chuckling) Okay, Laila. We'll do just that.

Laila, under her breath: Excellent.

At Laila's behest, Hari built her some hutches with which she can raise insects.

...

Because, why not. Why not, right?

What I LOVE so much and think is SOOOO cool is how the eco-footprint becomes SOOOO green that it dumps a fuck tonne of terrible sun ray overlays on your lot because it's sooooooooo green and so pretty.

Fuck this. I hate this EP with everything in my body and soul.

What was meant to be a nice family dinner was overshadowed by the topic of a call Dami got from Laila's teacher.

Dami: ...said you were "inciting class conflicts on the playground"? That right?

Hari: Hell yeah, Laila.

Dami: Hari, she punched another girl in the teeth. That isn't good.

Laila: But poppy, it was Ashley Robertson. She thinks she's better than everyone because her dad owns the maker space in Grims Quarry or whatever. She's a bitch.

Hari: Hehehe.

Dami: Laila! And Hari, stop encouraging this!
 

Dami: Where did this come from, Laila? Even if you don't like another kid, you shouldn't beat them up.

Laila: It's not that she's some kid I don't like, poppy--it's that she lords her wealth and influence, which is really her dad's, over everyone in school, and I'm tired of it. I will not kowtow to her just because she's some venture capitalist's daughter!

Dami/Hari: ...

Dami, to Hari: You. This is your fault.

Hari, wiping away a tear: I know. And I'm so proud.

Hari: Don't be so harsh on Laila, sayangku. Remember when you were young and you got in everyone's faces? That was you back then.

Dami: I know! And that's why I don't want Laila to repeat what I did. I was not a good person! I was a total asshole.

Hari: She might grow out of it, she might not. Point is--we shouldn't be trying to control the way she thinks and acts. She'll resent us for it. I don't want that for us, do you?

Dami: No, I don't, and I know you're right, but... (sigh) I guess I really can't do too much about it right now. Besides tell her to tone it down.

Hari: I know. Let's take it slowly with her, okay?

Dami's got a little more on their plate right now besides the issue of Laila--they are once again ass-baby pregnant.

Dami: Ah shit. Here we go again.

I'll give it to the designers of the world that at its max green potential, Port Promise looks really nice.

It could look nicer, but I still didn't know at this point to also vote for the Modern Developments thing. So...I mean...yeah, I might have done my best playing this, I might not have. But who knows.

I just...look man. I get that insects could be next up as the next big sustainable source of protein, especially given how fucked the meat industry is, how unsustainable it is, etc. I get that EA wanted to reflect that.

IT'S JUST.

BUGS!?!?! EATING BUGS???? BYE! BYE FOREVER BYE!!

Hari, reading: ...pada zaman dahulu, disebuah hutan terdapat seekor binatang yang sangat cerdik bernama Sang Kancil. Sang Kancil merupakan tempat untuk mengadu bagi binatang-binatang yang lain sekiranya ditimpa musibah. Oleh itu, Sang Kancil sangat terkenal diseluruh rimba.

Laila: I don't know what you said but I liked it :)

Dami: I'm...I'm meant to eat these?

Yeah.

Dami: I...I'm gonna consume an insect for sustenance?

Yeppppp.

Dami: ...Are you sure it's not too late to call in Bree for this whole, heirdom thing?

If this was any other kid, this'd just be regular science. But since it's Laila...Evil science!

Laila: What? All I'm doing is a simple baking soda volcano!

...For which I will eventually extrapolate into research for what it takes to cause a real volcano to erupt. (sigh) You got me.

Hari, typing: "...for my longtime fans of Hardwood by Hari, I am so grateful for your support over the years, but I believe I'm seeing the end of my journey as a craftsman. As you already know by now, I have one daughter with another on the way, and quite frankly, dealing with fabrication machines has become life-threatening. I actually think that fucking thing wants my blood to oil its gears with. Anyway, I want to be here for my kids. So it might be time to say goodbye..."

Shout out to Hari for collecting soy to fuel Dami's candle-making thing but it really really was all for naught. I made like 3 candles, max.

Hari: I'm sure whoever is playing this game won't let all my efforts go to waste, right? Right? Right.

--News feature in Mandarin going on on TV--

Dami: Man. Wouldn't it be cool to go to China? It'd be like...an experience. An adventure. A world adventure.

Hari, offscreen: Wrong game, babe.

Dami: Awww.

Laila: I'm not having fun with this doll anymore. I've exhausted my headcanons for her. She's already saved, then burnt down most of Paris, like, twice now. We get it, you're a boss babe. I need a new one, stat!

Was it good, Dami? Was it delicious?

Dami: It was alright. A bit crunchy, though. And really strongly-flavoured. Almost as if whoever made it was trying to cover up a really intense, unpleasant taste.

...

This shit was fuckin bugs wasn't it.

Dami: Why are we here again?

Hari: I used to live here before I met you. When I lost my apartment.

Dami: Oh...I remember that.

Hari: I've come so far, and such a big part of that is thanks to you. You helped me grow so much, Dami. And I've spent my life running from most everything, but never you. So, Dami, what I'm saying is...

Dami: (quiet gasp)

Hari: Whaddya say, bossman? Marry me?

Dami: (squealing) Hari...! I'll let it pass this time--yes! I'll do it! Yes!

Laila: Ayah, what's got you so happy today?

Hari: I'm gettin' married, baby girl! I'm so excited! Your old man's about to become a partner!

Laila: (low whisper) Does...does poppy know?

And just to top off the happy news, a ribbon of aurora light came down that evening to kiss Port Promise goodnight.

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

You guyyysssss we're so close, and I'm so glad you've stuck with me up to here so farrrrrr. Thank you. I'll catch you next time! Bye!