Scooter 4.8 - Scout's Honour

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Hello, hello and welcome back! You're looking at the 2nd-last update for this generation of the Scooters! Let's get into it, we're almost there! Oh, um...a warning for an unexpected death in this update, too.

 

We open today's update, of course, with Landon carrying the wash on his continental shelf of an ass.

Landon: (sigh) The curse and the blessing of having the baddest bad girl booty.

Now that he's a freelancer and everyone's got work or school, pretty much all the housework is left to Landon.

Landon: No it's fine, I love being a househusband. That's me. That's everything I (chokes up) ever. Wanted.

Sullivan, like every toddler in existence, is stinky 24/7.

Sully: Spwash!!!

Landon: Haha, splash! But you're not gonna get clean just by splashing, bud. So--

Sully: Spwash!

Toro: Why do we constantly have laundry to do?

Landon: We? WE? That's rich, Toro James. That's hilarious. We. Talking bout we.

Toro: ...are you okay, babe?

Landon: (twitch) I am going completely nuts in this house.

Absolutely choked that these two still love each other like they were teens. BLEGH GROSS (loud sob)

SO...HERE'S SOME SHIT........Kai's friend Betty from the last chapter died...

I guess there's a spot just outside the house where routing is borked or maybe at that point in time my game was just not cooperating...but she couldn't get out of the water. She kept having routing errors until her motives fell below critical and she died.

God damn. Rest in peace, Betty. I don't even know if her name was Betty.

And Grim tried to collect her for a really long time but he also had routing issues into oblivion. So he literally just stared at her body floating in the water for fucking hours before finally he disappeared and she just became an urn in a life preserver. Which...the irony of that doesn't escape me.

I think her death was so borked it didn't even register on Kai's conscience. AND HE WENT SWIMMING IMMEDIATELY THE NEXT MORNING

Needless to say I yeeted him clear out of that ocean and put him inside for a while.

Landon: Kai, do you think you could mind your brother for a little bit after this?

Kai: But dad, I don't want him to cut into my experience of watching Superheroboy and Imaginaryfriendman.

Landon: Can you not...both watch the weird show?

Kai: Dad! The artistry of it all would escape him!

On more than one occasion, Sully would just kind of stare very sadly at the laundry...?

Sully: Scawy :~~(

I can't express how weirdly Toro is built. Like his body sliders are always 1-to-1 with each other and thus he's shaped like a Stonehenge monolith. And then his hips are like, nonexistent? Like some kind of yaoi boyfriend?

Absolute himbo no. 1.

Toro: Hey, now that Sully's at daycare, you wanna...?

Landon: Wait, actually? Like, we have the time and the empty house to...?

Toro: You already know....

And that was the terrible leadup to the fact that they have a lot of closet woohoo for some reason.

Probably why they have to do so much laundry HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Kai is the proud owner of a brand new...2001 Nokia cellphone, from the looks of it.

Kai: I found this in a bargain bin in the "beyond" section of Bed Bad & Beyond. The experience changed me forever.

Damn dude I guess I really wanted these kids to have those toddler traits, I guesss?

Sully: You know what? Fuck this. I'm done with this potty bullshit.

Toro's gotten some new bedtime story content for Sully after careful vetting from Landon.

Toro: (deep, bored sigh) ...and he huffed, and he puffed, and he...bleeeeeewwww the house down. Woohoo.

Sully: Woohoo!

Toro: SHIT don't let your dad hear you say that.

Every now and then, Toro's work takes him back to Mua Pelʻam where his adventure began.

Toro: Unable to tell if this is crusted ancient art...or really bad graffiti from two weeks ago.

Combing for garbage or throwin it back for a real one? You be the judge.

Toro: Hot girl summer is all the time.

It's time. Kai is following the steps of his aunt Best Girl Willow and making cute crafts for the house.

Kai: Can't help but feel like...I am being...monetised.

It's time for Kai's first day at scouts.

Kai: I know I was excited initially but now I feel like I'm gonna barf and die and barf.

Landon is still out here catching weird-ass fish for his collection.

Landon: Well, not this one. This one can go back to the water. Bye, ugly.

✔ [1/2] Master Fishing skill

I've discovered that putting fish in the aquarium doesn't make Toro upset so, here we are.

Look at these cool fish! I have a rainbow fish, the famously poisonous lionfish, and...a skeleton...? Okay

Hey, look whose glitched birthday eventually sorted itself out! It's Sully!

He's cute. I have decided at this point that Sully will be our heir, as to not have two brown-haired heirs in a row. idk that made sense to me for some reason.

He's pursuing big brain pursuits, so he's challenging his dad to a game of chess. He's losing.

Sully: Jeez dad, I really thought you were all brawn, no brains in there.

Toro: Looks can be deceiving, little buddy. Now give me your knight.

I didn't set out for Kai to collect every single scout badge, but a good amount of them. Did you know you can get a badge just for being nice to someone a few times?

Haha. The bar is so low.

First day of school, Sully already came home with a damn science experiment project to make? Shit

Sully: I'm so glad the government decided to unban uranium in school projects. Now I can become Spiderman.

Or come down with terminal cancer. Let's find out.

The hell you doing here, Victoria?

Victoria Adkins: I...didn't expect you two to still be together...damn...guess that's egg on my face.

Landon: Who are you?

I guess Toro's inspecting the beach for trash but Victoria's already gone home, so?

Toro: That's mean. I'm sure whatever she's doing now she's happy and unbothered. We can all move past what happened, right? Right.

...

The bitch left her chip bag on the beach. Cancelled.

I don't take as many pictures of the event as I used to, but Landon often invites the island elementals over to keep plugging away at making friends with them.

Landon: Okay, team. Now that we're all here, how do we feel about this week's episode?

Matthew: I think they're seriously slipping. They wanted so bad to be subversive and unique but they jumped the damn shark. There was a literal shark. Does no one know what that MEANS anymore?!

Kanoa: (scoff) Mortals.

I guess I wanted Sully to have something of his own too, so I signed him up for drama club. He wasn't a fan. Neither was I.

Sully: No offense but I'd rather float out to sea.

Not sure what's got Toro so excited.

Toro: Wait--a promotion?! Really?! You're stepping down for me?! Ho-ly SHIT--I mean, I mean, uh...thank--thank you. For this opportunity.

✔ [2/2] Reach Level 10 of the Conservationist career

Landon: ...I swear, this is where I saw her.

Kai: Dad? You sure you're okay?

Landon: Yes, Malakai! I swear, there was like, a ghost or something here! She rides a boat, and she has red hair, and she's really pretty.... I sound totally nuts, don't I.

Kai: Yes, dad. Let's go back inside now, please?

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

Well, with 0.5 of a goal left to achieve, I say, it's about to head into the final stretch of this generation, don't you agree? I'll see you guys next time for Landon and Toro's sendoff! Byeeeee!