Tucker & Dallas vs. Evil (Science!) 3 - Forbidden Flora

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Last time on Tucker & Dallas vs. Evil (Science), Dallas Dinh did a lot of sleuthing, but he may have gotten too close to finding something out too soon. And Tucker took a quite literal bite of something he couldn't handle.
 

⚠️ CONTENT WARNING: Spoilers for the Strangerville story! ⚠️

 

At home
7 days to the Event
 

(groaning) …

… Dallas? …

(uuuuuggghhh) …

(T…Tuck?)

… Dallas … awake? …

(mmmm… I … yeah… Yeah.)

Tucker: Dallas? Get up… Get up.

Dallas: (groaning sleepily)

Tucker: Dallas, are you awake?

Dallas: Mmm… I … yeah… Yeah. I’m up.

Tucker: Dallas, holy shit! You’re awake! You scared the fuck out of me!

Dallas: Whassgone on?

Tucker: First thing’s first, let’s get some food and water in you. Holy crap. Come on, come with me.

Dallas: (groan) God, my head hurts….

Dallas: So, how the hell did I get here? I was at… (sigh) I was at the lab in the crater across the river. How… did I make it back home?

Tucker: You were at the lab at the military base? (groan) That makes so much sense now. Fuck. Some people who said they were from the hospital brought you back here, and you were unconscious. But then they got in a military-grade van when they left! It was so weird!

Dallas: (wince) Shit.

Tucker: Dallas… what the hell is in that lab? What were you doing there?

Dallas: (sigh) All right, Tuck. I’m only tellin’ you because I trust you more than I trust Bob from down the road. But here goes. Last year, I lived and worked in a town called Oriole a couple counties over. I was a ranchhand for a dairy farmer. Some weird shit happened there, like here: people looking distracted, increased military presence, and a team of white coats rolling into town. Collecting…samples. That farm-owner, Herbert, slowly started going nuts, acted like he was…possessed by somethin’. Mutterin’ to himself, unaware of his surroundings. It was weird as all get-out, and I got too curious. I asked too many things to the wrong people.

Tucker: What happened then?

Dallas: They threw me in jail for thirty days. When I got out, I left Oriole and came here. And I thought everythin’ was fine! Until about a week before you got here. Then the white coats all rolled into town, just like they did at Oriole, and the military got all shifty again. Weren’t no coincidence, I already knew.

Tucker: Holy fuck. You’re lying. This… can’t be real. This happens in movies.

Tucker: But then… that does explain what the doctors were talking about…

Dallas: What do you mean?

Tucker: I…heard one of them say to another that he “put the chip on him messy”. I didn’t know what that meant…then I looked on your shoulder.

Dallas: Wh—what’s going on in my shoulder?!

Tucker: There’s a hard, red bump with something sticking out a little bit. I…guess that’s the “chip” that they put in…messy.

Dallas: Got damn sons of a bitches! (stage whisper) They’re listening! They’re listening to me!

Tucker, aside: What the hell is going on in this town…?

Plant: …

Dallas: (exhale) Okay, Dallas, nice and easy. It’s on your shoulder. It’s stickin’ out. You can get this. Like getting a burr out your jeans. Just like a burr on your jeans.

… (wince)

Goddamn, when did I turn so soft? Okay. One, two, three—

Dallas, from inside: YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOWWWWWWWWWGGHHH

Tucker: This was supposed to be a quiet town. A quiet place. A place to get away. Not you ruining this place from the inside!

Plant: …

Tucker, kicking furiously: I’ll burn you alive, you bastard!

Plant: (low, almost inaudible hiss)

Dallas: (humming to himself) Huh? What’s that s—

—Pipes rattling; vines snaking out of the drain—

Dallas: Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Got-damn plants are getting in the drain!!

Tucker, get the bleach!!

Tucker’s attempts at getting through to the relevant people are…not exactly going anywhere.

Tucker: Mayor Roswell. I want to ask you about the Golden Hawk base.

Ted Roswell: Wh—what is it you w-want to kn-kn—HHRGGK!

Tucker: Uh… just… uh… Wait, are you okay?

Ted: GGRK—HHRK—HSHH—!

Tucker: Mayor Roswell?!

Ted: D—don’t be g-goin’ round—askin’ things—y’aren’t—p-prepared to hear the—answer to—! Kid—!

The old church in the mesa bluffs of the town offers some respite from the pollen-filled dustbowl that is the town proper. Though one was hard-pressed to find God in the middle of this government-sanctioned darkness.

Tucker: …it’s like everyone I talk to is out of it. Unaware of their surroundings. Possessed. Just like what you saw in Oriole.

Dallas: And the only ones that aren’t are the military, or the white coats responsible for this. (grunt) It’s like human lives are just playthings for them.

Tucker: Dallas, there’s something else.

Dallas: What is it, buddy?

Tucker: A couple weeks back, when we didn’t know what those plants were…I ate one of the fruit. And… (shudders) …I think I understand now. There’s this like, constant hum in the back of my mind.

Dallas: Huh?!

Tucker: It’s like…a song. It doesn’t have words, but it’s always there. Humming. Some days, it’s stronger than others. I feel less aware. Less focused. Distracted.

Dallas: Damn it, Tucker. Why didn’t you tell me you ate it?

Tucker: I didn’t think it mattered at the time! I didn’t think the plants had anything to do with this. What could you have done anyway?

Dallas: I don’t—I don’t know. Fuck. (sigh) It’s my fault they got into you like this.

Tucker: We couldn’t have known.

Dallas: I’m gonna fix all this now. I ain’t just some crazy cowboy stickin’ his nose where it don’t belong, and I know that now. We know they’re lying. And I need to find out how to take ‘em down somehow.

Tucker: What are you planning, Dallas?

Dallas: Don’t know yet, but when I do find out, I need you to promise me you won’t get involved.

Tucker: Dallas…what do you mean?

Dallas: I mean that I’m responsible for you livin’ here and gettin’ you sick, and I aim to fix that. Now don’t follow me, Tucker. I mean it.

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As it turns out, Dallas didn’t really have much of a plan to stand on. He was more or less making it up as he went along. And that’s how he found himself at the bar one night…

Dallas: Uh, hey stranger. Not meanin’ to be too forward, but you’re pretty hot. Want a blowjob?

Drunk private: Huh?! Shit…for real, dude? Serious?

Dallas: Seeeeerious. You and me, in the bathroom, right now.

—Loud bar music; general chatter from downstairs—

Drunk private: (whistling) Phew, shit! Alright then, let’s do it.

Dallas: Alright.

Not thirty seconds later…

Dallas: How do I get in the basement?! Tell me, you brown-nosing piece a shit!

Drunk private: Aw shit—! Aw shit!

Dallas: I ain’t gonna ask you again, motherfucker!

Drunk private: Hazmat suit—! You need one!

Tucker’s efforts to help sometimes land. And sometimes they miss. By a rather wide margin.

Dylan Sigworth: (inhaling deeply)

Tucker: Sir? Are you okay?

Dylan: HGGK—!

Tucker: …sir? Ah—hey! Let go of me!

Tucker: Ack—stop! Stop! What the fuck!

Dylan: She c-calls—and you—HHRK—must—LISTEN!

Tucker: Let go of me, fucking freak!

Dylan: M—MOTHER! HHGK… HSSH….

Tucker: (deep sigh) …

What is going on this town, man?

The curio guys had a hazmat suit on backorder, but it was too pricey for Dallas to buy out of pocket. But they said they’d lower the price if he brought them enough small fruiting bodies of the strange plants from the base….

Dallas: Not that I ain’t grateful, but this feels extremely fetch-quest-y to me.

Dallas: What’s thiis… “low battery”?! The hell good are you for then?

—Approaching footsteps—

Dallas: Shit! Who’s there?!

Tucker: Dallas, it’s—it’s me.

Dallas: Damn it, Tuck, I said—!

Tucker: I know what you said. I think it’s dumb and you’re trying to be a hero, and you’ll get yourself killed. I can help you.

Dallas: Tuck, I don’t want you to get hurt even more on account of me.

Tucker: Well, I don’t want you to get hurt, or worse, killed, trying to tackle something that’s obviously bigger than you! Dallas, accept my help. Please.

Dallas: (deep sigh) ...alright, Tucker. It’s you and me.

Tucker: You and me. Got it.

Tucker didn’t tell Dallas, but he’d been hearing that hum more powerfully than before stepping into the [REDACTED] Lab.

Tucker: Hhh...fuck...Dal—Dallas…!

Dallas: What’s wrong, Tuck?

Tucker: It’s—taking—GGRK—over!

Dallas: Stay with me, Tuck! Come on, fight through it!

Tucker: It’s—here—HGGK! I—know—!

Dallas: Who’s…here?

Tucker: GRRK—some—thing…strong! Below!

Dallas: Below. In the basement…where they’re trying to keep people out.

It’s not just T&D who’ve noticed the happenings in town. Those with their ears to the ground are sensing the change in the earth herself.

Erwin Pries: Hmm…something’s in the air tonight. Don’t know what it is…but Strangerville feels even stranger.

And man, is it ever.

Townspeople: (groaning, grunting, choking noises)

Tucker got a hold of his senses, and along with Dallas, he traversed downstairs in the dark, growling bowel of the Lab. There, a bigger, more equipped lab lay in wait.

Tucker: To think they left all of this behind…what are they leaving it for?

Dallas, aside: Or who, even.

Dallas: These sick bastards with their alien plants. They knew the whole time. Probably planted ‘em around town themselves. Probably had ‘em in ole Oriole too. (sigh) Right under our noses.

Tucker, aside: Dallas, I know it’s hard. But we gotta find a way to fix this. Make it right.

Dallas: Yeah...yeah, you’re right.

Tucker: Look, I think this is where they develop compounds. They have a history pulled up. (muttering, reading) (gasp) Dallas—there’s an “antidote” document in this computer!

Dallas: Well, check it out!

Tucker: Okay! Let me just see if…

Computer: Swipe badge within five seconds to continue. 5…4…

Tucker: Oh shit. Uhh, Dallas, hand me that keycard.

Dallas: Uh, okay! Let me see where—

Computer: 2…1. Access denied. Station locked. Engaging defense system in 3…2…

Tucker: Defense—?! AAAAAGHHHH

Dallas: Tuck?!

Tucker: Aw shit, that burned! Aaaaaaauughh…. We gotta do that a lot quicker next time….

Back at home, the plants have fully strangled the pipes.

Tucker: Get out of here…! Goddamn vines got a mind of their own.

Erwin told Dallas to check his mailbox one day at a specific time, citing something he’d “been waiting on for a little while”.

Dallas: Is this…? Shit, yes! Erwin Pries, you’ve done it again!

Dallas: So.

Tucker: So. Hazmat suits.

Dallas: Yep. We’re ready to get deeper into that lab. Just…for the last time, Tuck, are you sure? This ain’t your fight. Strangerville…ain’t your place.

Tucker: It isn’t yours either, Dallas, but here you are trying to save it from something huge. You know why? Because you’re a good man. And I’m not going to leave you behind.

Dallas: …thanks, Tuck.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

The end is coming. Make preparations. See you next time!