Scooter 8.7 - The Scootening!

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Welcome back to the Scooters, besties! Last update was not so happy so...here's to things coming onto the upswing, right? Right.

 

Xavier's enraged ghost has returned in order to...practise his charisma?

Xavier: Here's why I think I'm perfect for the position: I'm dead, right? So you'll never need to worry about me getting tired. No lunch times, baby. I'm on the ultimate break.

No I'm crying bc he really does look like a little Robbie Rotten, it's amazing.

Kaleb: Now listen closely. Here's a little lesson in trickery. This is going down in history.

Nothing quite like the experience of working out while watching someone on TV make an insanely greasy pizza.

Fayrouz: This is making my spirit feel full. And that is what I'm going to tell myself as I eat an overpriced salad later. (sob)

Kaleb is discovering the power...of the internet.

Kaleb: This is amazing. I can feel myself getting stupider and angrier at a rapid pace. It's stellar.

Fayrouz took herself to the flea market to scope out some weird shit people left in their basements.

Fayrouz: I hope I can find a halfway-decent couch. The one at home smells too much like grandma's weird old-lady perfume.

It was there that she met a real estate agent, with whom she debated prices in San My.

Fayrouz: ...I don't know, city living is nice and all but I wouldn't want to buy a skinny little rowhouse here, for "convenience's" sake.

Bernard Deleon: Have you looked out in Newcrest, then? Just a few minutes from the city, and still serviced by all the same bus routes.

Fayrouz: Newcrest, huh? That might be more feasible.

Bernard: Well, just think about it. I can see you didn't come here to talk housing. Can I leave you my business card?

Fayrouz: Sure thing!

Kaleb's latest interest seems to be the outdoors. So Fayrouz put him into scouts.

Kaleb: Oh hell yeah boy I cannot WAIT to find some frogs. And lick them. Haha just kidding. Unless...? Nah I'm just kidding. Unless.......? Nah just k

Now why in the hell would cleaning up a puddle at home have anything to do with the scouts?

Kaleb: You tell me, weird omnipresent voice. It's your game.

No you do not understand. Miss Fayrouz is OBSESSED with dinner parties.

Hannah: I'll put on some music, okay? What are we feeling tonight?

Fayrouz: Honestly I'm kind of feeling Cannibal Corpse. Put 'er on, Hannah.

Hannah: Oooooookayyyyy then.

Fayrouz: So, what do we think, girlies?

Hannah: Excellent as always.

Jermaine: Honestly Rouz, I think you're being too nice to us, feeding us for free like this.

Fayrouz: Well, maybe. I just have...so few hobbies.

Hannah: Why don't you try watch a TV show?

Fayrouz: And feel crushing disappointment from the second season onwards? Tough luck there.

A chocolate cake this time, for Fayrouz's birthday. Happy birthday, Fayrouz!

Fayrouz: I want a pony :)

Fayrouz: Girl I said a pony, not wrinkles :-/

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

Well now that she's older and enjoying a more stable job situation, Fayrouz took up Mr. Bernard Deleon on his offer. She's moved out to Newcrest!

Does that house look familiar? It should! It was Percy and Sebastian's house in Generation 1. Seven entire generations ago. Hoooolyyyy shit.

I left everything largely the same, for nostalgia's sake. It's a slightly awkward house, but you know what? That's my emotional support slightly awkward house, your honour. I even put Xavier and Nora where Ollie and Francie's urns used to be!

Fayrouz: Thanks so much for helping through the sale, Bernard. You were a lifesaver.

Bernard: It's no problem, Fayrouz. It's what I do. Anytime you need anything, you can hit up me or my wife. We live just down the street; great, right?

Fayrouz: Totally. Come by for dinner sometime. I get great reviews.

Bernard: (laughs) I believe that!

Kaleb, on the other hand...is not so precious on the move.

Kaleb: How the hell I'm supposed to get my 3 AM pizza slice from a rat-infested cart in this suburban hell? What a flop decision.

Half these dishes are yours, kid. No need to be so angy.

Kaleb: It's like I already work in a restaurant or something wtf. bro I'm 9

Kaleb: Mumma? Does dad and grandma's ghosts keep you up at night too?

Fayrouz: Their...what?

Kaleb: Their ghosts! Come on, you know what a ghost is.

Fayrouz: I do, but I've never...seen? Them? I don't really believe in ghosts, honey.

Kaleb: But they're there, though!

It's true. In fact, Xavier was there right now, checking out Craiglist.

Xavier: $200 for a PS5? Smells like a scam or a serial killer. Or both.

Fayrouz got to meet Bernard's wife, Mila Deleon. Suffice it to say she wasn't a huge fan right off the bat.

Fayrouz: Hey, you're Bernard's wife, right?

Mila: I sure am. I'm headed to my sunlight sacral chakra opening group powwow right now. Care to join?

Fayrouz: Your...what.

Mila: It's where you let the healing energy of the sun enter your body from your most sacred, feminine area. (whispers) Your vagina.

Fayrouz: Girl fuck no

Something something scouts. Something something frogs?

Kaleb: Eeeewwwww it's so squishy and cold down here uuaagghghhgg. Hey--a frog!

Having heard all about Fayrouz's world-class cooking, Mila just had to come over to try it herself.

Mila: And you said you were from... Armenia? I loooove Armenian food.

Fayrouz: Well, I'm from Ottawa, for starters, but my family's from Syria and Lebanon.

Mila: Oooohh, even better. I loooooove Lesbian food.

Also joining was Mila's oldest child, her daughter Natasha!

Natasha Deleon: Finally, I get to have someone my age to hang out with!

Kaleb: Me too! let's go play Evil Dead where we attack each other with a chainsaw.

Natasha:

Kaleb:

Natasha: oh hell yeah.

Did I ever finish Kaleb's scouting career the way I finished Kai's scouting career back in Generation 4? Sources say...inconclusive.

Kaleb: My life's work...wasted </3

I tried so hard and got so far
In the end
It doesn't even matte-heerrrr

Fayrouz: You guys, I'm so glad I relocated here. It's so nice to be with my people my own age and with similar interests!

Bernard: Happy to have you here, Fayrouz. Glad you're loving the neighbourhood.

Fayrouz: I really am.... Mila, is everything okay? You look uncomfortable.

Mila: I'm good, it's just... a bee.. a bee stung me during my chakra opening session.

Bernard/Fayrouz: ...

Fayrouz: On your... on your...yo--

Mila: My vagina. Yes.

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

What a note to end on. Okay, see you guys next time!